THE SONG OF THE SOROR MYSTICA

The struggle has stopped and now I’m here alone. 

Naked. 

Captured in the gut of the lord

waiting to be digested so as the change can become complete.

God gave me a way out and I didn’t take it. 

Now I can only be made more visible.

All the world will now see me

naked in the light standing alone.

Naked, now weather beaten, unrecogizable to anyone…

to follow no one and to have no one follow

To simply be on the earth in wonder and awed;

enlightened, by the moment and just being.

Freedom to sing and outlast the play.

The past is gone and now

I want to dance and let go of the pain,

the foolish emotions, the habits…

to let God to invade every space of my being, to purify me, to make a claim to me, to take me as his bride; 

there is no other ecstasy in life but to be filled with God.

Its a burning flame crawling through my veins into every cell, atom - blackening the crud and purifying the gold. 

Here I am getting use to the earth again. 

Grounded again. 

Learning to see the beauty in every small piece of God. 

Finding my love of god in every person and object of nature. 

Once I am use to the earthly weight

and exposed again to the energy that brings one into the manifest

I will enter back to those who love me

and guide their sons to the door of heaven

so they may be at my wedding and eat the cake and sleep

No more banishment from grace,

no more disrespect,

no more forgetting my presence.

To be dignified about myself

and have grace and beauty.

To stand up and say no

and walk away clean.

Nothing is significant but God. 

To cross over into ourselves is the only hope we have to run the gauntlet. 

Everthing is possible. 

Lillith came as Adam came, from the consciousness of God.

Let me then walk forward away from this past of mine

and hear only your words;

follow only your laws;

implicity carry you upon the stars. 

Let me be with you and see you everywhere

in the beauty around me.

If my voice cannot illuminate, then my actions and silences must. 

They are me and my whispering keeps me hidden in a thousand pieces. 

Where are those who have drank the blood and body of Christ? 

I long for my bothers and sisters - my family - to rest in peace amongst the stars

Let me disperse.

What do you pray to God for? 

What do you utter on your lonely encounters with your piece of God? 

What do you ask of yourself? 

I feel solid and light - here and there - nowhere. 

I can’t be one thing any more. 

I’m everything to everyone and nothing to nothing - dust to dust. 

When you reach a place of grace the lights go out. 

You can’t see, you can’t talk as words have no value in the presence of grace. 

Brick walls become permeable to the red rose –

hardness turns into softness and softness into hardness. 

There is no fixed point in grace to hang on to.

God is calling himself back in

and you are part of his being that is longing for wholeness. 

People exist as God.

I reach a center where everything explodes

and I feel nothing but profound love, radiance. 

My whole self is filled with love and love. 

It is pouring out of me and it burns inside of me and radiates…

God, burn me until I am pure and your light fills all the empty spots. 

Let me be blind with your love. 

Let me be your bride

and let me give birth to you by my gifts of being.

Matter of the spirit united with the matter of the body is living as God. 

Infinity is the space between the continual living and dying of God. 

When we all realize the matter of our spirits

we will than be able to leave the body and reclaim the universe.

The body is the living God that wants release back to the beginning of creation where we were matter of the spirit;

singing “om”, vibrating, whole, pulsating - explosive

Love has to enter every cell. 

The journey to love is in the matter. 

The length of time to succeed depends on our ability to forget and long for nothing.

When the moon blocks out the sun love will enter the masses. 

The broken cell walls are ready to deny nothing and take in everything.

The world is ready to succumb, to surrender, to roll over, to abandon - and then be filled with God’s light - God’s face to be upon us all and never to leave again.

In the darkness the moon shall reign and those born will be of God and know no sin. 

God’s light will be bright and all encompassing. 

No one will be able to look away. 

All that is hidden will be brought out of the shadows

as shadows do not exist in God’s light. 

In the darkness there will be light

and the containment of that light is in my being-

any being who has surrendered. 

God, fill me - I wish to be an empty vessel and to walk into the darkness filled with your light. 

Save the souls dear God –

let them rest and be saved.

Making love is the moment we forget our bodies and fly with our souls to touch another’s.

All else falls away. 

The physical being, the landscape, the dust. 

The eyes reach for miles inside. 

It is then that one knows another.

To be love in the universe- to be God - to be the essence of life. 

If I stop looking I see it all. 

Close my eyes and the heavens light my way

Rose breaking through a brick wall.

I will dance and be and tell the story of thorns where the existence of love burns us all to the ground and builds us out of the ashes to fly as the phoenix.

Just dance and sing and see where the earth leads through the spirit. 

Take in the sunlight through the skin and deeply inhale the darkness of the night – moon child that I am – to be a lot less astute and a little more bent on not knowing. 

Charm yourself and become the dark you hide from – only then will the light be allowed to set you free in the air again. Without our shadow we are lost; we have lost the exit.  The only way out is through a place of no return. A place where we must face our “selves”; our full “selves” – the shadow.  Without this face can not play in the game, can not be. Being is the knowledge of all of who we are.  Good, Bad, and Ugly – when we taste this part of being, we taste the earth, we taste the salt of our own blood which is that of the earth.

Entering the womb we find darkness, fecundity, smooth walls, blood and bodily fluid.  Our beings mixed with prima materia. 

There is something that happens alchemically when we wade through the feelings of complete strangeness – we end up enlightened. 

Words in books, words of prophets, those who try and steer us out of love – know not our hearts and will. It is us alone, alone in the wilderness to decide to step forward and fall, get up, fall, get up, run into life – our life.